2/20/2003:
ANY DOCTORS WANT MY RESPECT THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO EARN IT.

W. Riley  To Dr. Stigndok:

Choking episode lat e last night from small clumps of Cream of Wheat hung in throat. Wouldfn't go up or down for 30-40 minutes. Must have wore me out. Followed by acid reflux. Felt like hung inside adam's apple.

A rather depressing event, have to re-schedule appointment.

On a followup note... This gout episode started to leave, re-curred with sardines. I finally figured out the trigger. We tried a brand of beef stew that had a high gravy content. I believe that was the start, the trigger. Once the uricemia went "over the wall" it stayed up because I had a diet of lentils, dried beans, peas, seafoods, EVERTHIN' BAD.   I tooke allopurinol last night, a prescription Dr. Roller gave me 4 years ago. Seemed to help some but I feel a little strange...

I don't feel I should drive today. I won't make any more morning appts.

There is a big difference to the gout I had before and now. Before it was in both feet, this time only right foot. I feel maybe the excess amount of scar tissue from the crushing incident and subsequent surgeries at Williamsburg General in Mar. '89 may have combined with the extra exercises I threw upon it... raising the internal pressure between muscle and scar tissue in the foot... causing it to become more of a filter to the uric crystals. A hyperuricaemic trap. Which would explain why the left foot isn't affected this time.

I will continue to follow your guidelines in this current gout treatment.

Also, I have continued working out with 30# dumbells and the good news is that yesterday my left pectoral complex "shifted up" and the pain (a "catch") that has been there for several years now left when the muscle shifted. So, all is not lost. That pain has been very distracting, requiring me to constantly maintain a mental block. I'm a giant step toward going back to work now and that is making me very happy. I guess that means I'm both happy and depressed (over the semi-choke episode) but overall I try to remain upbeat and looking forward.

I regret not making this appt. I hope that in a month and ½ I will be moved back to Big Salt Lick and this won't happen nearly so much. We found an apt. on Boxley Hills and am planning move April 1. I need a win. And I'm going to get it. My long range goal is to have a calf-ankle-foot scan to determine the condition and position of the screws and plate in my leg, and overall condition of the affected area prior to attempting a return to work. Perhaps at our next appt. we can bring the issue up. So many times I seem to forget half the stuff I need to ask you about. Hyper uric state is tough on the brain, and memory doesn't fare well in a constant uric acid bath.

I have located a product of honey and bee venom that comes highly recommended as a helpful restorative... If you think it's a scam I'd appreciate you let me know before I spend $20 + Shg. for it.

Thanks so very much... Wo. Riley 2/20/03
Thanks for not giving up on me.

3/01/2003:
W. Riley
101 Honest Truth St.
Bedford, VA 24xxx

Dr. Donald Stigndok, M.D.
McDoctor Alley
Big Salt Lick, VA

Greetings!

Had to return to taking Lithium (2/day, not 4).
All the stress from life I guess. I had taken a few Xanax
this past week but I don't like them. They seem to be causing
me a problem the day after I take 1 or 2. Hard to put my finger
on because they help me when I take them, but 12-18 hours later
when they clear my bloodstream there is some distress.

Lithium is helping. Just have too much stress. But I'm not writing
about stress. I have been holding something back from you. For
about a month or so I've been having "bumps" on the back of my neck
with associated itching around. They seem to come up suddenly.

I didn't tell you about them because I thought they were some kind
of dang mites or something. And maybe they are. But, it hasn't been
long since I saw you and the day before that I had had a headache all
day long. BUT this bump is bigger, spreads out under the skin...

Maybe it was a horse mite! Anyway, the only thing I've changed is
my Lithium and it never caused neck bumps. My diet, the only thing
I've added is drinking imported Green Tea. But I mix it with regular
teas. Oh, I added Blackberry preserves as that is supposed to help
some people with Gout.

Several weeks ago I accidentally sliced my finger on the edge of an opened can of Corned Beef. I suppose something could have entered that way. That was about 3-4 weeks ago. But you should have seen something in the blood tests you've been ordering.

Anyway, I'm getting my stresses under control now. I've gotten my concentration back. I must say this recent hyperurecemia got me down somehow. Must have give my neurons a real acid bath. I think it really delivered a pretty good shock to knock me around so hard. It may have been good for me in a way because I've been working on my website now for 3 days and I'm making real good progress. I dragged around an let the dishes, cooking, & grocery shopping mostly swing for the better part of 2 weeks. My TMJ was hitting me all the time my foot & leg was swollen. It wasn't very fun. To be really honest, sometimes I feel like I'm going to blink and everthing in my memory is going to go el blanko. I have to finish this website. I have very important information that has got to get onto the Internet. Then I will let up and enjoy life.

I'll be up Tuesday for the scan. I don't think you're aware how low this lump is in my chest. If you ordered a neck scan or even a thyroid scan I don't believe the people doing the scan are going to go far enough down to pick it up. It's still there, a right good-sized knot.

Appreciate your fine doctoring last visit. I know I kind of jump around on topics a bit. This last gout episode really splintered my thinking. But then again a lot of scalp tension seems to have abated. I suppose the gouty condition must be inducing that incredible scalp thing...

You take care. Thanks. -Wo. Riley

5/22/2003:
Wo. Riley to Dr.Donald Stigndok:

Hi. Seeing you yesterday helped me a bit. The cochicine is too expensive and will have to wait. I do own 2 burial plots at Cedar Lawn and am trying to sell so maybe in a couple days I'll get the prescription filled. I had a mix of oatmeal and cream of wheat for breakfast, with a few raisins. I try to eat proper to live. In fact, my holding my weight for so long is testimony to my ability to find and maintain a certain weight. Otherwise, I would be quite a bit heavier.

Some patients might get angered at your never-ending refusal to consider a surgical solution that would help someone like me, but I try not to do that. Besides, if I wanted to I have clamps, fishing line, needles, and have figured a way many months ago how I could do much of what I want anyway, without your help or anybody's help. I once cut a group of plantar warts roots & all from the palm of my hand with a razor blade. They hehehe never came back. And another time I sewed my hand together after it had separated from really deep blisters from running a garden tractor thru rocky soil. They were very deep, went to the muscle lining.

I only come to doctors for stuff I can't handle myself. Your refusal to assist me just puts me a few steps closer to the "Do-It-Once-Again Myself" Choice. So whether you want to help me or not doesn't make me angry. I run into lots of doctors who do what they want and seldom do what I the patient need. Especially since I came onto the wonder of Medicare. I have intentions to return to work and live a long time, just as I told you. If you want to help me fine, if you choose not to fine. Of course, should my forced efforts to do for myself end in disaster you might get star billing. Not much I can do about that. My chest and muscles around my heart pop and crack. I felt sick after eating. I think the food encounters some internal problem and sickens me, or the food pressure going down presses sideways against my heart or something. Lately, I get sick before needing a bm, so I figure my internal rhoids sicken me when they get the pressure just as my heart seems to do, until the offending matter passes.

No doubt you are limited to help me anyway, what with the CDC and the AMA telling you what parameters you have to meet. I know for instance that no one wants to give me any more antibiotics because of the increasing germ strength. That's okay. I can grow penicillin in my kitchen sink anyway. And have. It gives me a kind of immunity to any germs in my specific living space, as opposed to getting some generic-petri product. All you have to do is let a glass of milk set out for 10-20 hours and then drink it before it gets too strong.

The website I made and the inventions I told you of are real. I invite you to visit them. They are actually very short, concise, and won't take much of your time. They are:

www.askinventor.com/AmericanDream.html ,   www.askinventor.com/BeauWinkle.html , and most especially the hyperbaric treatment I told you of at: www.askinventor.com/Terms.html . All of these can be typed without caps but change the extension to plain "htm"s. I discovered that saving 2 copies with caps&html and NOCAPS&htm increased my server's access speed by double.

I will continue to follow your No-Alcohol advice, see where I am in the next weeks. If I can just diet away the gout out of my frame, I still should be able to return to work. Perhaps soon.

Thanks for being there for me. I couldn't face my feelings well, don't know why crying should be a spectator sport. BTW, the rest of my website is chock full of some impressive stuff also, so you're invited when you have time of course. Sincerely & Gratefully, -Wo. p.s. When I do die, no one will know why. So??

5/25/2003:
Wo. Riley to Dr. Donald Stigndok
Greetings!

The abundance of things bothering me forces me to continually mull over your words and try to assess my options. It's true that Dr. Clarkson and you would both write me a prescription for Xanax or something that would alleviate the assault to my nervous system. I remain appreciative of that. Over these last 4 years I have been aware that my weight has gotten too great. I had 3 seizure-like episodes in 2000 that are not documented. They were in Jan., June, and Dec. I didn't go to a hospital, didn't call an ambulance. These seizures were so powerful that they gave me an overwhelming sense that if I even exerted myself to walk out to the car or to an ambulance that the effort would finish me. I lived thru the seizures by laying down, not moving, for days at a time. They were most likely caused by sudden drops in my Lithium level (caffeine wipe-out) since the tests of heart function remain showing me in great shape. In December of 2000, I laid on my LR couch for 3 days and Sunshine gave me a little food and drink. I'm not sure I've ever told you this before, but Death has visited me many times. Reducing my metabolism til my heart healed and the heart or chest spasms subsided has kept me alive, yet the effort I sometimes expend to keep going has drained me. Lately (last week) it wasn't seizures that came though. A number of other things were pressing me, most of which I told you at my visit. The combined assault to my mind stressed me a lot as you saw. It was like I was re-vising the stress I had when I had those seizures.

Losing weight. Dieting is an assault I have avoided, choosing to eat right and trying to build my strength overall. My left ribs/chest structure took such a powerful slam into the ground back in 1989 and arthritis in the area may at times be mimicking a seizure or other heart distress. Again, this conclusion seems proven by the heart test you gave me. Dr. Gerald Roller had me on Clinoril. Truth be told I should still take it. Then again since I have some bleeding from hemorrhoids using a blood thinner seems a bad idea. Better to take the pain. Tough on the psyche, pain.

Now I've had a few days to think. About the best reason for my not dieting has been the incurring of pain and weakness. Now that I've been off the Lithium since last Fall, it seems the Lithium had a muscle-weakening effect. Sometimes my hands or just a finger will shake even now. Is that me? Early Parkinson's? Lithium withdrawal even yet? Hard to tell. Maybe just being bipolar is causing it. The weakness seems to have gone. Much of the oppressive lung pain left yesterday after I popped the ribs and coughed something loose from inside my extreme lower left lung. Perhaps a small phlegm pocket that was hindering my breathing. I've never really told you about the 4 hour period I spent uncontrollably trying to throw up several years ago, but I damaged something inside doing that. Maybe now I've finally cleared whatever did that.

Whether I diet or not doesn't seem to be preventing any pain. Since I'm already in and out of serious pain, there seems little reason not to diet. Might as well incur the wrath while I'm at it. I'm already starting as of yesterday. The gout is leaving my hand some. Several people sent me a bunch of forms to fill out this week. I told one (Jefferson-Pilot Insurance in Greensboro) to send the forms to you since I just came down there. They want you to verify that I'm still a wreck. I wrote them an e-mail and told them I found them sending me forms to fill out was abusive because of this gout I've been having. I was a bit angry with them, asked them why they don't do a phone interview or something!!! Filling out forms is archaic. Besides, they already have all my records, know I'm not working. They want to get me off the disability rider that pays the $112/month insurance premium.

Anyway, I'm writing you to let you know that I realize the correctness of what you are saying, that control of my weight, control of my dietary choices, all seem to be THE KEY HERE. So I'll be trying that for a while. Gout presents me with quite a challenge. No sardines, seafood, steak, burger, peas, spinach, etc. Don't recall about eggs but I think cheese is OK. Main thing is getting this weight off as it pulls down on my ribs. Now that I'm finished writing my website I can devote much more intensely to these other vital areas. Any ideas from you are always appreciated. I need to distance myself from problems that I'm bringing onto myself. Already I'm down to 272 and by the end of this week plan to be below 265. I need to move forward. Thanks for your encouragement. I know you're probably having difficulty understanding the levels of stress that have afflicted me. I too have had that problem. I had arthritis all over when I was about 35, before I had my 2 accidents. This has been an extremely long and difficult road. I am well-read on dieting strategies, know how to time my exercising to not increase my appetite so much, to get the most weight loss effect. I'm going to give these problems the attention they deserve. Carrying around so much weight inside my body just isn't right. Actually, I look forward to getting back to work, either driving or making donuts. Later. -Wo.

5/30/2003:

Wo. Riley
to Doctor Donald Stigndok & staff:

Thanks for all your help and assistance. Two days ago I managed to get some deep muscles in my ribs to realign and this morning a kink in my left pectoral popped loose. These things were oppressing me very badly and now I feel pretty doggone good.

My ankle is bothering me some, but that's because I aggravated the screws & plate by lifting weights a little too energetically. I still intend to be around a long time. I still hope you investigate my website material : www.askinventor.com
www.askinventor.com/terms.htm
www.askinventor.com/americandream.htm
www.askinventor.com/tornadotrains.htm
www.askinventor.com/extension_3.htm
I wish all of you a great weekend.
Dedicated people should have great weekends.
-Wo. Riley

7/10/2003:
Greetings Dr. Stigndok!
From Wo. Riley.

I have pinpointed the reason for my distress. Each day my left ribs are settling down and pressing into each other. Then at night they spread back apart to where I can rest. Trouble is they don't want to stay that way. I think I can return to work if I could fix that one problem. Do you have any suggestions?? Any ideas? I'm all ears!

In fact, the past week I took a driver's test to get my CDL back. They passed me on 2 out of 3 tests. All I have to do is go back and retake the last exam and I will be clear to return to work. Well, with a learner's permit and a co-driver.  I believe I can ignore the ankle and everything else just fine if I can just get this collapsing rib thing under control.

BTW, I have successfully gotten Sen. Allen's Office looking into the inventions on my website. They called me 2 days ago and we talked for about 25 minutes. I sure would like to get back to work.

8/7/2003:
Wo. Riley
to:
Dr. Donald Stigndok;

Greetings!

I have 2 concerns:

I had a bump appear on my forehead, suddenly appearing yesterday. It was about the size of a dime to start, but overnite it has gone down some. It isn't a boil or a pimple, but an underskin knot w/no pain. It could be one of those "gout knots" but most of those were on the back of my skull and they left weeks ago... Should I come in today?

I'm trying a new product called Oxy-Nectar. It is a 10-stage antioxidant formulae made in a laboratory somewhere. It may have purged some vile disease from my brain and deposited it onto my forehead like excising a toxic dump site. Do you think the Oxy product will do anything bad to me?? My bicep size has doubled in just one week of taking it mixed with yogurt.

Thought I would touch base with you BEFORE calling the EPA...

{{ Oh btw, I fixed the LN2000 prototype nitrogen engine since I saw you last. It is on this site: http://members.cox.net/askinventor/. }}  Thanks!    Wo. Riley

8/11/2003:
This is a request for information and assistance.

Several months ago I had a serious breakdown while seeing Dr. Stigndok. I have since found out that I have a serious infection in my jawbone. I believe the infection is spread into my skull, and into the area of my leg where I have a metal plate.

Whoever reads this fax, please assist me to find some help. I have Social Security and Medicare. Or maybe its Medicaid. Anyway, my records you possess should tell you what you need to know. I'm having headaches, body aches, neck aches. My neck, shull plates, jaw bones, and TMJ on the right side are moving and popping repeatedly thruout the day. My last fax was not intended as a joke and neither is this one. I am having a serious medical problem here. I have infections spreading in my body and I believe that's why I had the breakdown. As I told Dr. Stigndok, it is MY INTENTION TO RETURN TO EMPLOYED STATUS.

I was making progress; in fact, 3 months ago I took the learner's tests and passed 2 out of 3 for me to get back to work. I have been unable to re-take the 3rd test because this infection that has set in has scattered my thinking process. I am ill, and I am asking you to help me find some direction to get better so I can return to work. I told Dr. Stigndok that and so far he has not seen fit to assist me at all. So, reassign me to someone who has the energy to take hold of my needs as a patient please even if it means changing doctors. My dentists told me I have a problem and they did indeed look very concerned. I took a course of penicillin, cleared the infection, and 2-3 days later it returned. I have half a bottle left. When it is gone my dentist says he might not be able to refill. So I need some answers. Actually last week's fax I sent you was looking for answers then too but no one has seen fit to contact me.

I want to return to work. I would appreciate if you would quit ignoring me like I'm a terrorist and help me so I can return to paying taxes and have a life again. Heck, treat me like a Mexican. I can say Senior as good as they can. I can even say No hable Ingles if it will get you to do your jobs. I've been ill and Dr. Stigndok has decided to let me stay ill, and I'm tired of it. Please contact me today and give me some kind of directions or assistance.

Sincerely,
W. Marshall Riley Jr.
xxx Your Lane Road
Apt. # xxx
Big Salt Lick, VA 24xxx

8/12/2003:
W. Riley - patient,
a somewhat confidential letter to my doctor using a non-confidential fax machine.

To:
Dr. Donald Stigndok, my doctor

If you honestly think I owe you an apology then you can have one. But honestly doctor, I've come in to you with some very serious problems and you just have not offered me many options. Once you told me I needed to walk more. And that's good advice for a normal person it probably would work. But you've never known me to be a normal person, so why would you offer me a normal-specific solution? My entire body was crushed, my legs, ankle, feet, bones twisted mangled broken and my internal organs were smashed into the ground by a 1,000 lb. weight hitting me down my back side, thrusting me forward like a missile, then anchoring me to the ground and whipping me.

When I come in to your office, I don't just come in for suggestions how to make myself normal. And I don't come in for some new miracle pill or operation. I come in when I'm having a problem that has utterly overwhelmed my ability to cope on some level. I work on computers. I come up with new inventions, I write editorials to the Big Salt Lick Times, and quite frankly I pride myself to be above the average population when it comes to thinking problems through to a solution. I have 3 patents to my credit, and so far I have authored 2 websites full of inventions, ideas, concepts: www.askinventor.com & http://members.cox.net/askinventor. I have created my own persona -ASKINVENTOR- and I have ascertained for myself a role as a human catalyst, prodding others to do more by challenging them through my website information. I have channeled my energy to force others to find theirs!

Since my accident in 1989 that disabled me, I have had a number of doctors and a few lawyers. My injuries were both mental and physical, but all were extensive. My foot was bent up to my shin, twist-crushing my ankle. I was thrown forward violently, then my knees were clipped by the behemoth that was hitting me, driving my kneecaps into the asphalt and WHIPPING (not falling) my chest violently into the hard ground. My watch with the tight band went flying off my wrist because of the force-whip that traveled thru me like a sine wave, a tsunami from the knees up thru my head.

Sir, the accident wasn't the worst part. The worst part (the last 14 YEARS) was just beginning. In the hospital, they brought me out of sedation long enough to tell me something about a mandatory 4 hours I would have to wait before I could sign permission for the doctor to work on my ankle. So later they brought me out of sedation & had me sign the paper. Later, they brought me out again and mumbled that they had made a mistake. They had had me sign the paper 15 minutes earlier than the 4 hours, so to be legal they would have to let another 4 hours go by before signing the paper again. So you see doctor, I was subjected to a massive amount of morphine or whatever they used and ALLOWED TO JUST LAY THERE. ... And that was just the beginning. I've had other doctors traumatize me. Dr. Moskal, when he extracted the long screw from my ankle, applied so much pressure to my damaged leg that in taking the screw out he re-introduced the physical trauma into my leg! Which would have been okay I guess if he would have given me a painkiller. Instead he gave me Tylenol with Codeine. Then there was Dr. Spetzler whose assistant squashed my foot up real hard to put on the replacement cast. Why? Because it was normal procedure. The truth is Dr. that the asshole should have let my foot heal pointed down some so that I would now have an edge to climb back into a truck. So I was mis - treated again. And that basically has been my experience ever since I was in the accident. So, YOU THINK I MAY BE ANGRY? You don't know the meaning of the word. When I had a drug conflict that put me into DT's, the hospital staff took my ex-wife aside into a closed room and told her I was an attempted suicide. I was not, but it's probably in my medical record that I had attempted to kill myself. That isn't unusual tho. My very own lawyers thought the same thing, that my accident had been a thinly veiled and failed suicide attempt. You know, if I was a sane man I probably would have killed myself after my own doctors and lawyers slid by giving me normal and/or sub-normal treatment. Why, my own lawyer worked me a deal with Worker's Comp settlement while I was being prescribed 5 and more psychoactive drugs by Dr. Edward Workman. The small settlement he got me was a piss-poor arrangement that I accepted because I was DRUGGED. Plus, I was being poisoned by a double dosage of Clinoril (Dr. Roller) and the Lithium, all of these drugs impairing me, stripping me of any judgement I ever had.

Now, I could make this into an extremely long fax that you wouldn't have time to read anyway, but I have been insulted these ways for the last 14 years. You take that Lithium I was given since 1990. It began to pile up into my cells. I couldn't think straight. My ability to cope began to suffer. Finally just last year I came to realize the Lithium was killing me; yes, I could tell the Lithium had reached an accumulation that was causing my cells to stop working properly (improper firing, memory loss, hand tremors), and I was probably dying from it. Now, you can discount that if you want. You can label me, shelve me, and tell me to walk more if that is the extent of your training I guess then you will join Dr. Moskal and several lawyers in a special place in my memory banks. The place where I put people who for some reason have also shelved me and more or less let the wolves have my carcass. After I took myself off the Lithium, my memory that was failing me came back, my spine quit tingling every waking moment, yet it was a difficult and long process. Each day I could feel the Lithium as it slowly recessed out of me. I felt my life returning.

I've told Dr. Clarkson who prescribed it, I've told you, and I've told some health-center write-in boards on the Internet. Have any of you alerted the public or alerted the CDC? I don't think so. Why? I call that negligence. Doctors are putting millions of Americans on psychoactive drugs which may be slowly killing their physical body cell's operative powers, and no one is saying anything about it? What am I to conclude? Well, if I was bipolar or paranoid, I might tend to conclude that the medical establishment is purposely weeding out the weak-minded from our population, not unlike cutting out the sick sheep from a herd to prevent the rest of the herd from getting sick.

You are a relatively late arrival to my party, so let me tell you why my anger sometimes spills over my fence. Sir, if my becoming disabled had been handled properly, if I had received proper care as was indicated I needed, I would have returned to work a minimum of 5 years ago. I never received proper assistance, in home therapies, nothing. Many of the problems I still have now are because of gross don't-give-a-damn clock punchers. Enter Dr. Stigndok. Sir, I've given you plenty of time & opportunity to show me whether you're just another clock puncher, whether you are like most the other "professionals" who -after looking at my "BIPOLAR" LABEL- decide to give me minimal treatment since I AM SO OBVIOUSLY GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE. Well, news flash. I've been suicidal since I was 15 YEARS OLD AND I HAVEN'T GIVEN IN TO THE URGE YET. My Dad committed suicide twice, his brother Henry did it, and his cousin took out his 7 year old boy up on Airport Road when I was about 10, so I'm no stranger to people giving up. The family gene bent to suicide is strong in me, but I never gave in, even when arthritis and spondylolithesis crippled me, my wife left me numerous times, { ahem } with others because she thought I did not love her... Yes, she too shelved me just as all these other people have. Even now, it seems you have shelved me so I'm coming close to quitting you from being my doctor.

Is that the way it has to be? Or are you going to assist me? I toughed my way thru the pinched nerves in my left side, I toughed my way thru all these many pains that made me writhe in my sleep, but I've never committed suicide... yet I continue to be treated as a mental patient. I have more mental strength and conviction than any 10 "normal" people. I reject suicide as being any kind of constructive answer to anything. As a young man, I swore I would break the cycle of suicide in my family. I swore if I ever had children I would never shame them at the funeral of a suicide Dad.

But, you're still wondering why I'm angry. Yes, I'm angry. But, for now, I have my anger under control. I have formulated no plans to harm anyone for the gross mistreatment I have received. The lawyers who have let me hang in the wind, the doctors who decide to hurt me or prematurely bury me, are filth. If I ever do actually succumb to striking out at anyone, I have no plans now to do so. What I don't understand, and maybe one day you might actually decide to answer me, is why a man like you, a man of obvious ability and intellect, refuse to recommend that a morbidly obese patient with a damaged ankle that prevents exercise to lose weight, cannot see fit to try and work things out and arrange for me to have some kind of fat reduction surgery. I WANT TO RETURN TO WORK. AS MY DOCTOR, YOU SHOULD HELP ME. BUT YOU AREN'T. I THINK YOU OWE ME AN EXPLANATION SIR. Are you my doctor, or are you a clock puncher like all the other stable manure professionals I've had the pleasure to know these long 14 years?

For instance. I have had lots of problems. Why haven't you ordered any diagnostics, any MRI's, anything to find out what th hell is going on with me? The breakdown I suffered in your office. Why didn't you try to find out what th' hell caused that? Either you have shelved me as a potential suicide in the works, or you're a clock puncher. As my doctor, you should be helping me to heal and return to work. Your best suggestion so far has been to exercise my ankle. Why exactly WOULD I DO THAT?! Any overactivity while having my large weight to support is going to cause a bursitis attack, and ankle weakness. Don't you think that my overweight of 275 lbs. should be addressed first, then take on additional stresses to my ankle joint? Sir doctor, you appear to be making my life decision for me, retiring me to being an old crip. Well, I'm just in my early 50's. You yourself have tested my heart, as well as the Bedford & Lewis-Gale Hospitals. And you all seem to be wringing your hands, not knowing what is wrong. For starters, I was being poisoned by Lithium. Other meds caused me to loose my settlement money because any judgement I had was stripped from me and the legal system gave me money that I wasted.

BUT NONE OF THAT WAS YOUR FAULT. But now, now that I'm in your care, needing your assistance, your best answer seems to be telling me to walk more. No MRI's, no nothing. Sir, I figure I have about 10-20 years left in this old bod. I'm taking a 10 stage antioxidant formula called Oxy-Nectar; my biceps are enlarging, my strength is increasing, and for a week I thought I was going to lose some weight. Til I quickly plateaued. I need some options and I need a doctor smart enough to help me. If you want to take a renewed active approach to getting me back to work, then by all means Sir let's get to. Let's quit screwing around, time's a wasting. I have 3 sons who need some help from their old man, I have 3 grandchildren who need a role model, I have 2 daughters-in-law who right now despise me and have shelved me onto a special shelf for non-Christians and evildoers. I have a large damage control project here, and I need your help.

Two weeks ago my big toe went numb. It stayed numb for a week. I asked my son to touch it and see if it was warm. It was. I assume that my extra weight & some scar tissue is pressing on nerves running thru my damaged ankle. My extra weight is causing me medical problems. Maybe I should find a doctor! Do YOU know how many times I have thought that? Then I pinch myself and say Wait!, I already have a doctor! Well, doctor Stigndok, are you a doctor? If you are, then figure out a way to help me achieve the goals before me. Help me get back to work, and show the next generations that a real man never gives up. And if you cannot, then you sir are a quitter and need to excuse yourself from my life. I don't abide quitters. I didn't let the meds kill me, I didn't allow the clock punchers to kill me, and I'm not letting do-nothings in my life continue to define me.

And yes, I'm mad. But the things I want to do, while with me, are not the things I CHOOSE TO DO. I direct my destiny, even if all the professionals in VA be liars, I am not a quitter. And the asshole who told me that a vasectomy would not sever any nerves but did, he would be my first to locate if I ever decide to go another direction than my present course. If I ever locate a lawyer worth salt, I may yet begin chopping trees legally and showing the public what a bunch of crap professionals there are in this state. My future is an unknown that still needs writing. Now, are you going to help me go the positive route? or are you a clock puncher? I need your answer. Are you a plus sign in my life, or just another one-way wrong way like I have encountered so far? Let me know when you're good & ready. Just don't tell me that Medicare won't pay for fat reduction because I know different. I know the pre-existing support problem posed by my ankle is enough to justify an operation to reduce my weight. I also know I need to return to work, which should be additional justification. Let's quit going in reverse here; let's start going forward. Quit pushing me backwards and do your job. Or do the decent thing and quit.

Sincerely and sincerely disgusted with the last 14 years,
yet optimistic for the next 14,
Wo. Riley

8/12/2003 b:
W. Riley - patient,
a somewhat confidential letter to my doctor using a non-confidential fax machine.

To:
Dr. Donald Stigndok, my doctor

I watched my Dad and uncles commit suicide with drinking poison, drinking lye, eating a shotgun barrel. Yet I choose to be an optimist. When I first got married and spondylolithesis crippled me, I chose to stay an optimist. When the hospital x-rayed my back and said nothing was wrong, when my young wife was told by them, her mother, her sister, that I was faking an injury so my wife would have to support us, I still chose to be an optimist.

I'm also very hard-headed. I've been faced with people like this all my life, yet I choose to be an optimist. I've lived through truck wrecks, loosing brakes off a hill and smashing into cars, turning over a trailer of swinging meat in Illinois, and once during a bipolar high I swung my hand into a brand new 8-inch rip blade on a table saw. I choose to be an optimist.

After 14 long years of being ignored, incorrectly left un-treated by many who call themselves professionals, I remain an optimist. But I also spit on their memory. I spit on Dr. Spetzler for making my wife have to BEG HIM TO ISSUE ME AN ORDER FOR A WHEELCHAIR. I spit on him, and if I could I would strip him of his dignity and prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law. Yet, being a realist, I know that he, and all you other professionals, must have the Law in your hip pocket. So I spit on the Law, not as a bipolar sumkindamaniac, but as a realist who has had a life full of fake professionals.

I am optimistic of my future, yet being a realist I must acknowledge the weakness of my position. I cannot force people to suddenly become the professionals they claim they are. I can't force anyone to quit pegging me as a potential suicide they really shouldn't waste time on. And I certainly don't expect you to suddenly be the only one in your pack of colleagues to jump up and help me.

That being said, I guess you're thinking that reducing my abdominal baggage would only take 5 maybe 6 pounds off my frame and that really wouldn't help much given my 275 pound weight. Well, you are wrong. I'll tell you in a fax, or I'll tell you in a debate class, or I'll tell you to your face that you are wrong. The weight on my abdomen pulls against my back as a LEVER. It pulls down against my ribs and heart and lungs as a LEVER, which means the true force is multiplied. Not only that, my body dynamic is changed. I had a lot of damage from my accident, as I tried to tell you with my last fax. This means Dr. Stigndok that what I am experiencing with forces and pulls from excess abdominal weight is not going to fit inside the "NORMAL BOX" you & your very unhelpful colleagues keep trying to squash me into.

I WOULD NOT WRITE YOU ALL THIS FOR JUST A COSMETIC PROCEDURE. I HAVE SOME VERY SPECIFIC MEDICAL REASONS THAT COULD BE EASILY FIXED IN A FEW HOUR's LONG OPERATION, HELP ME GET BACK INTO WORKING CONDITION, AND HAVE A LIFE. So far, all you and other's look at is the surface. Excuse me, I thought you were doctors. You know, you aren't so special. I know how to use a guide and a razor blade, I know how to cut by a pattern, and I made such a pattern about a year ago. But, I also know that if something goes wrong I would be depending on doctors to save me and I know that Big Salt Lick has a very real shortage of "real" doctors, so I have stopped short of doing the operation myself. I think about the shame my sons would have that their Dad had foolishly operated on himself. So, even tho I've used a razor blade to cut deep warts out of the palm of my hand, sewed my hand together several times, and many other things that I have had to do for myself over the years, I draw short of doing this one thing I need.

I constantly exercise a higher level of control than you or any other doctor thinks me capable of having. How short-sighted you are. How ill-equipped you are to help me in my need to return to life, get some weight off my ankle. You know, I could stand to have a prosthetic spring device on my foot that would help me run again, and play tennis with my grandchildren. Where exactly do you suggest I go for help, friend Stigndok? Perhaps I should join Dorothy on the yellow brick road, go searching for the WIZARD of OZ eh?

A sane man would have committed suicide a long time ago. I choose not to. I choose my direction, my fate, and my destiny. And you guys are all failures because so long as I continue to have these problems and sometimes breaking down from the weight of fighting with your inept attitudes and NON-EXISTENT HELP, then your entire system of rules has failed to return a man to work over 5 years ago. So either decide to help me or get out of my way. I am not quitting. You cannot force me to commit suicide. As long as I remain unemployed, my LIFE is a continuing testimony that you and your colleagues have no idea what your job description says. In case you all forgot, let me state it. It says "ABOVE ALL ELSE DO NO HARM." SIR, you all's continuation of letting me, a human being, hang like a f__cking sheet in the wind, is doing me harm. You have harmed me physically, mentally, emotionally, and intellectually, assaulting me with your crummy mis-understanding of what th heck you are supposed to do. Let me spell it out. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO HEAL ME AND GET ME BACK INTO A CONDITION TO LIVE, HAVE A LIFE, AND PAY TAXES.

You have failed, all of you, and I condemn you. You have failed me, and by leaving me collecting Social Security disability, you are failing the American public and the American system of doing things. Were I a lawyer, I would prosecute you for treason. If I could find a lawyer who knew his job, I would put all of you in the house I have lived in for the next 14 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE. Watch and see how many years YOU LAST thru the torture I have had to endure. Watch how each of you slits his wrist or hangs by his belt because you can't stand YOUR CHILDREN having a nothing for a Dad, a Dad who couldn't help them. You can't handle th truth. Me apologize to you. You all should drop to your knees and beg MY forgiveness. Oh sure, now you think I'm sitting here having a manic attack. Well, I can't make you face the truth. The truth is that I was poisoned by medication into a weakened condition to where I could not heal or return to work. I was ignored because people have judged me with a harshness few people could stand up under. You and your profession, and a few lawyers, have stomped on me and my family for 14 long years. Hurting me, hurting us. If I could I would call down the wrath of God upon you all. You disgust me. I condemn you. And that isn't bipolar, that's just the truth about you all. I have survived doctors. My eyes remained clear and fully focused. I will continue to survive you. I may not be able to prosecute anyone, but my life is a testimony to you all's failed system. I can live with that. Can you?

Sincerely and sincerely disgusted with the last 14 years,
yet optimistic for the next 14,
Wo. Riley

8/12/2003 c:
W. Riley - patient,
a somewhat confidential letter to my doctor using a non-confidential fax machine.

To:
Dr. Donald Stigndok, my doctor

The evils that I related to you have been done to me by your compadres. They have hurt me, hurt my family, and in many ways continued the damage from my accident that should have healed before now. They are clock punchers. But they are more than that. They dared call themselves doctor.

I would like to have you as my doctor, but the futility remains. You just don't seem to be offering any answers, just mostly more walls. I cannot help but suspect that you have little intention to help me return to work, or get me restored. I told you before that you're one of the very best doctors I've had. I still believe that. But your being the best and me continuing in some sort of deluded state that my doctor is helping me, when in fact you don't seem able to help me, isn't getting me anywhere. Don't you see that? We're barely spinning our wheels.

So I'll ask you again. Can you offer me any kind of solutions to getting this excess weight off to relieve some of the stress off my ankle? If you admit failure, then do so. Do not twist my letters around as some sort of personal attack on you personally. An assortment of medical personnel have screwed me over for 14 years because I have this BIPOLAR sign hanging from my neck like some sort of scarlet letter.

I started a diet to lose weight and the next thing I know I've got a runaway infection in my jaw poisoning me. How can you possibly sit there telling me I need to lose weight when I do try I get sick from lowering my immunity? How do you think I'm supposed to lose weight if not by some kind of medical/surgical intervention? Can't you see that your solution sickens me? I take vitamins, nutritional supplements to keep from getting sick while dieting and I still get this infection?

You know, you have a great opportunity here and you're missing it. All the previous doctors who have hurt me and/or ignored my needs, out of all them, you have the opportunity to do what none of them would, or could. You have a patient fired up to go back to work. What is stopping you, dollar bills? That's a poor answer. If your being my doctor is governed by dollar bills, I'm a dead man.

Sincerely and sincerely disgusted with the last 14 years,
yet optimistic for the next 14,
Wo. Riley

8/12/2003 d:
W. Riley - patient,
a somewhat confidential letter to my doctor using a non-confidential fax machine.

To:
Dr. Donald Stigndok, my doctor

When I first asked you to be my doctor, I afforded you a 100% opportunity to show me that all doctors aren't crummy. I extended you a full clean, blank slate. So far you haven't done much to assist me. I have no idea why. It might be my status, it might be my religious beliefs in my medical record. I don't know. It looks a lot like sexual discrimination because I think if a woman had a breakdown in your office as I did you would have done more for her, rushed out a crash cart, and got to the bottom of the situation. Why aren't you?

Where is modern medicine? Hiding? I've had an ear infection for over 4 years, and so far no one has offered to do any kinds of diagnostics? Doctor Stigndok, I am considering looking for a veterinarian to at least get treated on the level of a suffering dog. Yes, I'm upset. But not from being irrational and bipolar. I'm upset for some extremely valid reasons. I don't want to sue anybody. It would suit to see a lot of people burn in hell somewhere for at least the equivalent 14 years I've been allowed to hang in some sort of deathpain limbo. All I want to do is get some help to return to being alive, get my life back.

I watch TV, and I have to listen to people making these innuendo comments about how men don't do self-examinations because they're ugnh men. Well, I was hit by half a ton of garbage and I have yet to even be given 1 single MRI. Where is the modern medicine I keep hearing about? Why have most my doctors given me such poor attention?

I'd love to keep you as my doctor, but it seems like your hands are tied so I'm asking what th' hell is going on? Why can't I get treatment worthy of a woman or a dog? At this rate I have LITTLE TO FEAR FROM TERRORISTS! Yes, I figured you wouldn't like faxes. It's so much better to just walk in and do nothing, say goodbye and leave. I don't accept that anymore. Perhaps I will move to Canada, take my check up there. This country doesn't seem to care anything for me, not as a patient, not as an experienced truck driver who belongs back on the road, nothing.

Have you ever been treated like a nothing? You should pray each day that you never have to walk the path I have. It would snap you like a twig. I can't exactly say that I'm not close to snapping myself either. I've been having some dizziness. But the really worst part isn't dying; it's knowing that a bunch of people will ask over your grave "Why, Why?, didn't he just go to a doctor?" No one will praise me or support me, saying how I tried for 14 years with about 15 different doctors, all of whom did their clock punching thing and left me hanging on a slow gallows til I took my last breath.

My last breath is going to be used to alert other Americans that our medical establishment doesn't have a clue what they're supposed to be doing. I happen to have several very marketable skills and doctors are supposed to be getting me back to work. What is stopping you? Has someone told you to keep patting me on the back til the day I die? Have you all decided I'm just some kind of fool who can't see a stall when it's hitting me in the face year after year.

You have 6 months to help me. If you're a quitter fine. In 6 months to a year, me and my little Social Security check will be in Canada where I should have gone 8 years ago. Maybe there they will see my gifts, and not just my spots.

Sincerely and sincerely disgusted with the last 14 years,
yet optimistic for the next 14,
Wo. Riley

8/12/2003 e:
W. Riley - patient,
a somewhat confidential letter to my doctor using a non-confidential fax machine.

To:
Dr. Donald Stigndok, my doctor

I may be worthless to you or to your cronies who have left me on the sidewalk to stumble around & die, but if you or somebody doesn't help me get straight to where I can go back to work, then all I have on my hands is time. I have already demonstrated my ability to write websites and I know of other sites where patients can report bad experiences with doctors, so if I don't go back to work where I can make a better living for myself, well, I just don't have anything to do. Or, do I?

With my last breath, I can do enough damage to where Virginia's doctors will be lucky to make minimum wage. If you or anyone else thinks you have made the correct decision to ignore my needs as a human being, you and they are seriously in error.

When I get buried, a motorcade will follow my casket as a fallen heroe for exposing the evil ones among us, the ones who inflict pain and suffering on purpose and hurt my family. You and your cronies and your American Medical Association are going to rue the day you spat upon me and my family. I'm bipolar. I carry the gene of invention and anger of any 10 normal people.

Watch the smoke rise.

You think you all can dance away at parties like the French bourgeosie, while the stupid American is given subsistence attention? You are in errah. You have MRI machines and expensive equipment worth millions of dollars and can't take a look at me? Phooey on you then. We're now at war, my friend. Enjoy your paycheck while you have it. Because when I'm through, all of you are going to find out what suffer you inflicted on me.

Say, do you know that I called a doctor several months ago and told them with my family incidence of cancer and my current problems that I thought I should be checked for cancer? Do you really want to know the truth; can you stand it? They told me, this cancer doctors staff told me, that I could not make an appointment with herr doktor. They told me my REGULAR PHYSICIAN HAD TO FIRST SEND ME THERE. You guys have everything sewed up so nice and tight. What a screwed up system you have. What an ANTI-AMERICAN SYSTEM YOU HAVE CONSTRUCTED. I will find your pillars, and my new name is Samson.

But you? You I will leave alone. You haven't hurt me. Well, you have sort of. I've got these knots popping up in my neck & one this past week on my forehead, that you don't want to spend the money to scan. But you're the icing on the cake. I'll leave you to the very last, out of respect for you. You seem to be a decent person. You probably treat women real good. Speaking of women. Do you have any idea how many thousands of dollars in cancer treatment my Mom got? She had 5 cancers you know. She exposed me to all the Pall-Mall smoke as a child, so the same carcinogens she got, I got.

Well, I'm wasting my time here. I will sit back now and ruminate, draw up my plans for the front lines. Take a break now and then, do some squats, some dumbells. Ruminate some more before my genetic bent toward cancer gets me. Did I tell you about my aunt Helen Keaton? She got cancer and was buried 6 weeks later. Boy, sure is damn good to be an American, breathe good ol' American air, have good ol' American technology and doktors. Yep, sure dang good to have Americans on yer side!

Sincerely and sincerely disgusted with the last 14 years,
yet optimistic for the next 14,
Wo. Riley

8/13/2003b1:

Dr. Stigndok

I'm going to cut you lots of slack when I begin to release my barrage of information that is going to damn the Virginia doctors and lawyers who have hurt me, and my family, since my accident. You are a relative newcomer.

You have my faxes and maybe you have some of my medical history. Because I have a diagnosis of being bipolar, it has become increasingly APPARENT that all new doctors who treat me say "Yeah, sure" whenever I have a complaint. It isn't hard to beat me down. I have illnesses that have made me EASY PREY of professionals who have given me very piss poor service.

Now, if they had mistreated me alone, I could be forgiving and just grin & bear it. But Sir, they touched my family. The wrath that is going to spew from me all over them is not the uncontrollable wrath of a misdirected bipolar person. No, my wrath is going to be a scalpel. I'm going to direct my power before I die. I'm going to smash and cut with the Internet as my tool. I'm going to bring as many of these people who DARED TOUCH MY FAMILY to a public accounting of their actions.

Sir, I have been discriminated against. My faxes should make that clear. If not, read them again at your leisure and marvel yes, marvel, that I have any kindness in my soul towards you. And stand back and watch my power part the Red Sea of gross discrimination that has been drowning me for the most part of my life because I am going for the jugular. This IS war. And my gun and my knife are my PEN. I'm going to do my best to introduce these oppressers that hurt my family OVER & OVER AGAIN, introduce them to just a fraction of the pain they brought on my wife, my children. I'm going to do my best to drop their takehome pay to the level they did to me and mine.

This Sir, is not blind anger. As I said in my previous fax, my eyes are focused very clearly. I'm not blinded by your drugs any more, and I will no longer be dissuaded from what must now be my mission. I am not blind, I am a directed power. Those who hurt my family will learn pain.

Now, so far you have not seen fit to do any diagnostics on me to amount to squat. Perhaps you still don't understand my anger so if you read this you will understand. When my body got struck by the bale of freight, it was shot forward. Then it caught me behind my knees and drove them straight DOWN. My FORWARD MOTION OF MY BODY COMBINED WITH THE DOWNWARD MOTION of my knees created what in math & physics is called a "vector force". The Worker's Comp people didn't understand and others still have not cared, but my upper chest & torso was flung (whipped) into the pavement with that vector force. I was hit from above by 1,000 lbs. that had dropped 7-8 feet, so the actual striking force that glanced my shoulder and propelled me away like a bullet was about 7500 ft.-lbs. of Force. As the bale accelerated anopther 3.5 feet to hit my knees, we have another 3,500 ft.-lbs. added to that. It was sort of like trying to ride 2 different rocket sleds at the same time and I figure it is by the grace of GOD that I stayed in one piece. Probably only GOD knows the true quantity of the vector force that hit my chest into the ground.

NOW, you are up to speed. Dr. Gerald Roller told me in 1991 that apparently inside my chest a lot of adhesions were probably forming. Since he, like every other doctor including yourself, has never saw fit to have a proper scan done as a veterinarian would DO FOR A DOG, no one really knows for sure. All I know is the chest pains, pains near & around my heart & lungs, breathing difficulties, sleep apnea, that have been with me for the LAST 14 DAMN YEARS BECAUSE DOCTORS TREAT ME LESS THAN A DOG, LESS THAN A WOMAN, AND LESS THAN A FRIGGIN' RACCOON.... are all tied into this widespread formation of adhesions pulling against my internal organs.

Two years ago when I had my eyes examined, I told the doc that my eyesight had been changing some. He sent me to Community Hospital in Big Salt Lick VA for a head scan. I almost JUMPED FOR JOY THAT FINALLY SOMEONE WAS GOING TO DO A SCAN! Well, then the insults flowed once again. #1, the scan was a cheap imitation using some old equipment. #2, after the scan I asked to see my scan and they refused. It was their policy. So you see, I have lived one insult after another for most my adult life, but the last 14 years and treating me like a child where I couldn't see pictures of my own head, is contributing to the anger you see flowing like water.

I didn't just get angry YESTERDAY. I am not as transparent as you think. So, here we are at a crossroads, a place where I decided to stake my claim to BEING BETTER THAN A DOG. And the accumulated insults and being ignored, bypassed, overlooked and in GENERAL SCREWED UP MY DERRIERE for the last few years is going to reap the biggest dang whirlwind on members of YOUR "PROFESSION" and others who have hurt my family.

My chest and insides may be periodically wracked in pain and when I sleep the agony at night in pains and discomforts because you and your cronies have laughed and partied for 14 years INSTEAD OF DOING YOUR GOD-GIVEN JOBS, well I'm going to show you all the other side of life now. And somewhere in all this the public, the lawmakers, the judges, are going to begin to dawn on them that the MEDICAL PROFESSION IS NOT MADE UP OF GODS. You are glorified dishwashers of bodies, street cleaners is what you are.

You know what happens to dishwashers & streetcleaners if they don't do their JOB?
Read my lips. YOU ARE FIRED.

Oh, one other thing doctor. The changes in my vision were caused by the Lithium building up from long term use. Perhaps you need to re-read my other fax. I told you, the Lithium was loading and accumulating crap into ALL MY BODY CELLS. My eyesight beginning to have disturbances, my hands begiining to tremble, and my memory beginning to exibit ALZHEIMER-LIKE SYMPTOMS JUST ONE YEAR AGO THIS MONTH OF AUGUST 2003, was all being ARTIFICIALLY INDUCED INTO EVERY CELL IN MY BODY, including my eyes. Sometimes even NOW my inner ear spasms and I have to consciously tell it to stop. And it stops. In fact, I had one yesterday which surprised me because I thought they were gone.

Has my life been shortened from all this neglect?? Certainly it has. I have damage in my heart. But surprise, I'm back. Sometimes my neck jerks spasms on the right side. This is the direct result of LONG-TERM LITHIUM USE.

Now that you have this information from someone who has been poisoned over 13 years, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION? I know what you'll do: NOTHING. Thousands of people are being poisoned right now -TODAY- by Lithium. Their eyesight and inner ears are building the crap inside EACH & EVERY CELL IN THEIR BODY BUT SPECIFICALLY THE SOFT TISSUE, THE BRAIN, EYES, EARS. What do you intend to do about that? Nothing? Sure, nothing. Why would ANY OF YOU want to do anything for ?!?! You're creating tomorrow's line of patients for yourself !!! hehehe A STEADY PAYCHECK,THE AMA RETIREMENT PLAN BETTER'N ANY 401k eh Brutus?

Thank you for calling just now and asking me about getting a scan. I've been trying to hear those words for 14 very long and excrutiating years. I started out after my accident, crawling on the floor of my home like a wounded animal. Had I known that the WOUNDING WAS GOING TO BE AN ONGOING TRAUMA/INSULT FROM DOCTORS AND LAWYERS, I MIGHT WOULD REALLY HAVE COMMITTED SUICIDE RIGHT THEN, RIGHT THERE. WHAT EXACTLY DOES THAT TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION, DR. STigndok ?! So, you're offering me some medical attention now?! That's interesting. But you know, as a bipolar and rather enlightened individual who has been pumping many supplements and herbs these last 14 years to stay alive, and ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS LAST YEAR WHERE I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY GOTTEN THE LITHIUM OUT OF MY BODY, I have gained in ability and insight. I have trained myself to SEE THROUGH THE CRAP. And right now I see your offer to placate me and scan me as a last-ditch effort your lawyers advised me to return to your office.

I really don't like lawyers, and I really don't like being treated like a fool by yours. I will proceed now much like I have preceded these last 14 YEARS. I'm going to keep living on my own power and move forward by the grace of GOD Almighty JHVH. If your offer is sincere, then GOD KNOWS. If not, beware, GOD KNOWS THAT TOO. But know this: My power exceeds above what you think it is.

W. M. Riley, my Father's son. A baptized minister, author, inventor, and maybe more than that. And I have a Chess partner who really hates to lose...

8/14/2003:
W. Riley

To:
Dr. Donald Stigndok;

I wish that I could consider your offer. Over the years now, the people who were supposed to help me would not. They used my diagnosis of being bipolar to discount any indication that I might actually need to be looked at closely. It all goes back to the day I was hurt, Mar. 27 1989. Parts of my body were crushed, some toes broken. My torso was slammed into the ground. In the hospital, I thought I was dying. I was in shock. The hospital didn't treat me for shock. They sewed my foot on and bid me Farewell, friend. My mistake was to not call a lawyer to my bedside. My mistake was to leave the hospital. But, I thought I was dying and I did not want to die in a hospital. I insisted they let me go home. Besides, they were not doing anything for me and EXIBITED little intention of doing so. My wife came and picked me up. From the wheelchair beside the open back door of my station wagen, I had to dive with all my strength over into the back seat with every bit of strength I could summon. That dear doctor was the shape I was in when the hospital released me.

Later, after getting to Big Salt Lick, still in shock from the doses of morphine because I had never tried any strong drugs at all, I entered a manic phase that would last 9 months. Neither myself or my wife knew how to work with Worker's Comp, so I got a lawyer group Gentry Locke Rakes and Moore. My lawyer sent in a trainee to fill his shoes on the day we had the Worker's Comp hearing. We went in, not really realizing did I that most likely everyone there had already decided that my accident was a suicide attempt that didn't work. So had I had Ben Matlock on my team I might still have lost. But I hold Gentry Inc. to account because they let me hang like a sheet in the wind.

I had another lawyer later, and other doctors, but the lack of anyone trying to help me to move forward has added to the trauma of the accident. Right now, I sit here fighting tears. I feel much the same as the day I broke down in your office. My chest has felt strange this morning, like my heart is on its last legs. I see death before me, while all you and Dr. Clarkson see is a bipolar who exaggerates his conditions. I feel sad that my fellow man could have treated me this way for 14 years... People who claim to be professionals, many of whom probably even claim to be my Christian brothers. I'm bipolar, and my side and chest feel like I'm at the end of a rope, and my heart is just about broken. Not broken from bipolar, not broken from the lack of serotonin uptake inhibitors, but broken by the treatment of me and my family. My wife and I have worked jobs most of these people refused to touch. I had spondylolithesis that crippled my back and when I worked at Dunkin' Donuts as a baker I had to stand on concrete upwards of 80 hours a week with no breaks, no lunch break, nothing. I made $70.00 a week. No insurance, no paid vacation, no nothing. Just work. My wife worked many hard jobs also. When my back spasmed out, her sisters and Mom said I was lazy, no good, worthless, and that she should leave me. And several times she did do that.

In 2 weeks when my penicillin runs out and my neck swells with infection because the same people who didn't help me before have been replaced by a new group who still doesn't help me, I honestly don't know what is going to happen. I fear I may do something that isn't very nice. Something that may bring shame on my Christian faith that has sustained me down this road. So now you throw me a carrot eh? I like carrots.

When I got to where I could walk, I walked up the bank to visit my Dad. He has my name. I wanted to join him, but I knew my family needed me so I denied myself the pleasure. I don't know whether my resolve will last very long once the infection returns. I know I would like to return to work tho. At least maybe, if I had some help I would. So you're offering me a carrot. You realize I can't take it. I doubt your resolve. I doubt your hospital's resolve; & I believe in Big Salt Lick Valley hospital's ability to give me the least amount of care possible to get me out the line so they can help women and minorities.

After all, I am bipolar. I imagine illness, fake problems to get attention. I am not worth it. Better to spend time on the people where we can make a name for ourself, get more contributions into the coffers. Or maybe I'm still talking out of shock from the last 3 or 4 imaginary gout attacks. I don't know what to think about you. I would like to trust you, yet I know your hands are tied by hospital policy. The only thing you do well is try to sucker me in to making a statement in these faxes that will get me locked up or committed.

Twon't work. My last days will not be spent in a hospital or a lock up of any kind. Whenever I leave, I intend to leave a free man. And whenever I CHOOSE to leave, I plan to call down both Heaven and Hell against all of you in every way I can for never treating me above the level of a dog.

You doctors and lawyers are such a joke. You cry publicly about being sued, you cry about the public doesn't give you enough respect, you're not making enough money. Did YOU go to work in a dishroom of a seafood restaurant when you were 11 years old like I did? Did YOU work for 10 CENTS an hour out of the cash drawer? Did YOU have to work sneaking because you were technically 3 years younger than the Law allowed you? Well? My parents couldn't get me shoes very often, so I got ingrown toenails. Once when I was maybe 10 years old, Dr. Hermann Brubaker had to cut one out of my big toe. It was infected. He had to shoot painkiller behind my toenail 3 shots. It didn't work. So he had to stick the end of my toe 3 times more with painkiller. It still didn't work. The infection was too strong. So basically he cut my toenail out without much painkiller.

How has your life been herr doktor. Mine has been plenty of pain. I've been hit by a moving car door and smashed partly under a car and dragged. You don't want to know any more than that. But I'll tell you one thing, I deserved better from "modern medicine". I didn't go to Vietnam because I had a bad back, and I'm colorblind enough I shouldn't have been offered a gun. So when I got the chance I learned how to drive a truck, so I could serve my country and my fellow citizens a different way. The trucks bumped my spine and my vertebrae was cracked already, so I took Doan's Pills triple dosage. Until one day I realized they were affecting my mind so I had to stop. At 20 years of age, I was a cripple from the back problem. I didn't have a period of health to enjoy life. I went from teen to old man.

But nothing aged me more than being ignored by your fellow doctors who constantly claim to be God's Gift to the downtrodden. Well, Sir Doctor, I've been downtrodden by the doctors parade claiming to help the downtrodden. So before my destiny train arrives full of infection, full of dentists who won't help me and doctors partying with their lovely youngthing nurses, I intend to raise the flag against you and yours. I'm going to raise the flag for my children coming behind me having to pay $600.00 a month to insurance for doctor's who let my grandson fall off on the floor over at Community Hospital. For 14 years I have watched the suffering at your hands while you guys insist your claim to godhood is real. For 14 years I have watched you liars prance around like you're god's gift to Americans.

While I write you these faxes drenched in perspiration at times, I give thanks to My God in Heaven who helped me to NOT become a doctor. NOT turn into the biggest ass wipe to walk this state of Virginia on the North American continent. NOT to become modern day explorers searching for new Americans to exploit, charge heavily, misdiagnose and sometimes just plain flatout KILL. Whenever Death comes in my Life -it might be 2 weeks from now or it might be 20 years from now- I swear by all that has ever been holy, is now holy, or ever will be holy, that I will sing praises to my God every day that He showed me the way to not become a doctor. One day I will die, just as we all die, but these words I'm writing will continue on and the indictment I have started against you and your kind WHO DARE TO THINK YOURSELF BETTER THAN THE REST OF US OUT HERE... will continue long beyond my death. Your snotty attitudes, keeping me from being by my wife's side when our first child was born, will ring thru people's ears for a very, very long time.

So let it be written, my friend. They do speak the name of Moses in Egypt, and God's Will gets done whenever, however, and wherever God says It Will Be Done. Those who think they be gods will be brought down. There is only One who is God, and He ain't You. HE doesn't need me to fight this battle. HE does His own Will quite Well. But from the way I've been mis-treated and my family has been stepped all over like yesterday's garbage, I JOIN WITH GOD IN DOING HIS WILL WILLINGLY. hehehe I don't care if HE gives me eternal Life or Eternal Death. It doesn't matter. I serve Him because HE is right, HIS Cause is Right. And all the King's doctors are going to find out what 10 cents an hour is if anything righteous comes out of my righteous effort. BTW, my message has already hit the Internet.

8/15/2003:
W. Riley

Dr. Stigndok

I used to try my best to have FAITH in the system; the doctors, the lawyers. I was deluded. I caved and began believing the HYPE. And I even thought the American System was the best in the World too. Until my efforts to start my own donut shop business got wrecked because the System decided to cater to the blacks, the women, the minorities, and the OPPRESSED AMONG US.

I guess everyone was too blind and stupid to consider that a white boy who grew up poor, inside a family of true alcoholics, could be considered a minority deserving of help to get ahead and actually contribute by creating new job openings in a donut shop.

My doctors have deserted me friend. You are by far not the only one to shove me aside in your RUSH to treat old people, women, minorities. Our system now is one of giving preferred attention to whoever is swinging the LARGEST LEGAL HAMMER. So, if you want to continue on in your delusion that AMERICA AND ITS DOCTORS & LAWYERS are the greatest thing since sliced bread, then BY ALL MEANS CONTINUE ON IN YOUR DELUDED STATE.

I have tried in my lifetime to KEEP THE FAITH IN AMERICA. If someone hurt me, I did not do some sort of bipolar sweep and say EVERYONE IS AGAINST ME. NO, friend Stigndok, I have bent over and kissed the floor, to the point I have EMBRACED THE FLOOR, MADE LOVE TO THE FLOOR, because the people who are supposed to be ON MY SIDE -HELPING ME TO SUCCEED- HELPING ME TO PROVE PER EACH ONE OF US that America IS NOT A DELUSION STATE, that America really is what it says it is.

The last 14 years and truth be told LONG before that stand as proof positive that this country is now a failure. Maybe before my lifetime it was a raving success unless of course you were an Indian, black slave, or a woman who was relegated to the kitchen to bear children sometimes as they worked, yet could not vote. So to recoup:

My lawyer left me to lose my compensation, my wife and family SUFFERED. My next lawyer worked out a REALLY GREAT SETTLEMENT that left me owing 20%. None of my doctors ever gave me a MRI even tho my entire body underwent a number of crushing blows. None of my doctors give a damn that my family history, parents, aunts, have died from numerous cancers. None of my doctors have give a damn. Period. Oh, maybe Workman & Clarkson. I told my lady doctor in Bedford of a large lump that suddenly appeared in my crotch, so she said she would look at it next appointment .... I made an appointment with a Ear, Nose, Throat Specialist who looked up into my nostril with a flashlight, declared me a well man who probably -since I was bipolar- imagined the lump up inside my nose. 2 months later using scissors I clipped off the imaginary lump he said was not there.

And I'm probably forgetting many things that I should mention, but the point is that a VETERINARIAN would have been both a BETTER LAWYER & a BETTER DOCTOR.

My state of my mind and body today?? I AM ALIVE BECAUSE I MARCHED INTO NUMEROUS HEALTH FOOD STORES THAT DOCTORS AND THE A.M.A. Assn. CONSTANTLY DERIDE IN THE MEDIA, and researched what my body's injuries were both on a cellular scale and regarding my continuing disabilities and continuing pain. And I persevered. Worker's Comp. sent me to therapy early on during 1989-90 but I discovered that the therapists were ACTUALLY TRYING TO FORCE ME TO MOVE FASTER ON THE MACHINES. They were under instruction from WORKER's COMP of Virginia to try and prove I was okay for work. My doctors & lawyers & Worker's Comp all agreed that, due to my being bipolar, I was an attempted suicide, a faker, and that ALL MY PROBLEMS WERE IN MY HEAD, A PRODUCT OF BIPOLAR IMAGININGS.

Was I all that ?!? Well, my inner ear balance was half shot. I was obese. My ankle that had been smashed up to my shin was very unstable and certainly not strong enough to support my obesity, much less work any kind of job. My chest pain was constant yet my doctors didn't want to issue me a painprescription. I guess laughter was involved.

But you know what?, friend Stigndok? hehehe You guys didn't just destroy little ol' ME, you committed GROSS CRIMES AGAINST THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES of AMERICA. You see, you didn't just teach ME that I was deluded, you showed my WIFE and my THREE BOYS WHO ARE NOW NEAR GROWN that the United States System of operation is a CROCK OF BULL CRAPPY. They now know that SHOULD THEY EVER GET HURT ON THE JOB THAT YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO TURN ON THEM AND GORE THEM. JUST AS YOU ALL HAVE DONE TO ME. That is why in my previous fax to you that I stated you ALL SHOULD BE TRIED FOR TREASON AGAINST THIS COUNTRY because you caused the next generation of Americans -my children- to realize that the American Reality is a deluded crock.

There are many things you could do for me now, try and help me with my pain. Do a chest scan. Presently I feel lumps across my chest, underskin lumps that the TV doctors keep saying the American Male is too stupid to feel or even notice. OF WHAT GOOD NOW , BRUTUS ??? You have done your damndest to destroy the American Belief System. Why try and fix me? Why now? Sure, I probably have some ongoing cancer given my family history of smoking and all the unfiltered Salems and Pall-Mall smokes that filled my bedroom as a child as I tried to go to sleep, sometimes my eyes burning from cigarettes. +I had 1 uncle who laughed at me for asking him to roll down a car window as we drove.

WHAT GOOD NOW FELLAS? You've destroyed me, you've destroyed the next generation's beliefs. WHAT TH' HELL GOOD IS IT NOW ?! AMERICA IS NOW LAUGHED AT ALL OVER THE WORLD; WE JUST DON'T "SEE IT"  because we still are trying to believe the Delusion.

You guys have trashed the United States of America worse than Adolph Hitler could ever do. Why terrorists are trying to destroy us is beyond me, because America is CRUMBLING.

So friend doktor, when I use a "k" to spell doctor occasionally excuse me if it seems this ol' IDIOT AMERICAN can't spell. I use the "k" with great purpose and intent to defame your fellow professionals who have defrauded me of life and happiness (remember that?), defrauded my wife, defrauded my children, & are leading the pack in DEFRAUDING ALL OUR CHILDREN.

And I restate my committment, my self-appointed Mission. And if YOU want to delude yourself further into thinking that my stating MY MISSION is just a bipolar side-effect, then that is JUST FINE! DELUDE YOURSELF ALL YOU WANT. BUT MY MISSION IS THE SAME THAT ol' STUPID AMERICANS NAMED WASHINGTON & JEFFERSON HAD. I AM GOING TO STRAIGHTEN THIS MATTER OUT BEFORE YOU S.O.B.s KILL ME with your new interpretations of the Bill of Rights (YOURS, NOT MINE).

Have a nice weekend. Enjoy your freedom. And if I were you I'd consider getting a pack of your crony lawyers together OR look for new digs in Acapulco.

This concludes the series of faxes which is my testimony of just how GREAT the American Doctor has become. I regret that I had to write this paper. American people are constantly told WE ARE THE BEST. WHERE ARE THEY? Thank God A'mighty for Health Food Stores that kept me alive.

Sincerely,
W. M. Riley - Author, Inventor, Website Developer, and By God, a HUMAN BEING.

1989 to 2003 What a Trip!  Ready for Page #3 ??   You may save these pages if you want. I haven't printed anything you people aren't already living yourself...